However, the more time I spend away from you wondering about your life, the more I realize how much value these words, my words, may have for you some day. So without further adieu I bring to you (Gavin) Mommy's Words For Her Little Man. :)
I wish I could make you promises about regular posting or assure you that the content will always be something you'll enjoy & cherish. The truth of things is that I would love nothing more than to provide you with security, love, and a foundation in ALL things. Alas, I cannot promise to provide those things in life, or on this blog, all I can say is that I will do my best.
I'm sure you're already to an age where you'll remember me writing. I have books & books & journal after journal full of poetry, documenting daily life, writing I've done about special events, classes, books I've read, etc. Right now I don't feel like there will ever be a shortage of things for me to say, on ANY topic really.
This blog to you, yet another writing I commit to keep like all my journals & lists, is different than all the rest though. I want to share with you my perspective & feelings that you maybe won't remember. I want you to be able to understand as much as possible what life was like for us before you remembered things. I also want you to have something to look back to & maybe see what I truly enjoy, the highlights of our life, all our adventures. No, it won't all be roses & peaches that's for sure. In your short 4 1/2 years our life has been tremendously turbulent (this is the biggest reason I've hesitated in starting this blog). One day I just realized that it seems indeed silly to not write to you about things you have already experienced...so here I am. In those more difficult times I hope you can look back at what we've been through & know you can conquer anything that you are up against in this life.
My hope is that you can enjoy this, refer to it & treasure it for all your life. I hope we're able to connect through our communications & share a deeper bond because of our efforts. I love you so much Gavin!! Your arrival in my life changed everything about my existence in the most incredible ways. Having you, my little man, has helped me to soar to the highest of heights that I never could have imagined, you have given me courage to drag myself through dark & treacherous valleys. Together we have weathered hurricane winds in what felt like nothing more than a homemade tent & at other times playing with you simply laughing, running, being silly or wrestling are more fond memories to me than a fabulous trip I took or a success that I had.
My little man you are so special. You have so many gifts that I can't wait to see grow. You are loved by EVERYONE that you meet & EVERYONE who knows you tells me constantly what a lucky Mommy I am, and I want you to know that I know it. Even when times are hard, or I am not as patient as I could be, know always that I know how incredible you are, that I cherish you as the greatest gift God has ever given me & that forever & always I'll work to improve myself as much as I can to ensure you have the Mommy that a phenomenal little man like you deserves. I'll teach you, love you, hold you, warm you, feed you, lift you, show you, listen to you, help you, and will be there forever & always.
Love,
Your Mommy
P.S. Make sure some day you thank your Aunt Andrea for her amazing example, in EVERY way, but especially for her example in writing a blog for Gabe & 'the bug' just like this one. I am incredibly grateful to her!
